Half as much
Half as much
Remember how you see and hear how someone loved or loves someone.
You want that, you derseve it.
If only they would love you half as much as they loved in the fucked up parts.
Maybe you don't have anything for them to have to fix.
That's just not juicy enough.
People crave chaos and pain and fear the light.
You've loved so many and loved so deeply. You've given yourself, shared yourself, and you've been taken. Deep loves and free loves and punk loves and hard rock loves and sometimes soft loves.
You've laughed and cried and stretched, and you sat at the edge of today, with your blonde hair at 17, not knowing. Not knowing the people you would love, the depth of your love, and the loss that your love would endure. You gave them all of yourself, and you stayed when you should have left.
The storms that came and almost killed you didn't. Because you're too fierce to go down crying. Music has lifted you up. The guitar strings killed you softly with his song.
You've loved the morning coffees and the evening beers and the foods that fed your soul. You've let them in, and you've held them close, and you've stayed with them through the years of your life. Even when they left, you stayed. Even when they're not there, you show up.
I come to you with no baggage for you to bear, only to rent your heart and never to break the glass. Maybe I'm not wounded enough, maybe you're stuck in the past, trying to make sense of it all. Afraid to let go because of all you've spent and all you've given.
I'm only asking you to love me half as much as the birds love the wind in their sanctuaries.
I must not be broken because you let me go and let the waves of the unknown differences drift us apart while you cling to the angst of yesterday's music.
You know where I've been. You know where I am, and you know where I always will be. It would suck to have to wait another lifetime, but I will love you twice as much so you can only love me half. Maybe that will make us whole.